Grenades and Masculinity

I was riding in the car with my 11 yr old daughter last week and listening to Bruno Mars' song Grenade. In the middle of the song while I was singing along and telling her how much I loved it, Maddie looked at me and said, "This song does't make sense! I mean who would take a grenade for someone?" This lead us into a conversation about men and masculinity. We are having these conversations more and more as Maddie gets older and they usually start with me saying  something like, "Let me explain something to you about men" as if what I'm about to say is the kind of thing that is normal masculinity stuff. The sad truth however, is that this is usually no longer the case. The very reason that I feel compelled to define this man is the fact that he is missing or at least very rare in our culture today. And because true masculinity is rare, I want to do all that I can to ensure that she will know what to look for when the young men come pursuing.


The conversation I had with Maddie that day is the subject of this blog. There are several strengths to masculinity that I think are being overlooked, redefined, and even eliminated by our culture today. This is one of those strengths: One of a young man's greatest strengths is his expendability. In the heart of every young man is the burning desire to be a hero. Most of us couldn't tell you where it came from or what it means, but every boy has dreamed of risking his life and even dying to protect those he loves or fight for a cause he believes in. This is how a boy's heart expresses his love and devotion to the things he holds dear. Men are no different (or at least shouldn't be). Each of us would like to think that in the heat of the moment we would not hesitate to give our lives to protect our family and friends. A great example of this strength is United flight 93. The men (and women) of United flight 93 have our respect because they were willing to sacrifice their lives in order to save the lives of others. This is The Strength of Expendability at its finest and it is one of the things that make a man great. When a man understands that one of the things that makes him so valuable is the fact that he doesn't think of himself as too important to be sacrificed, there is no limit to the things he can accomplish. When he considers his family to be precious and more dear to him than his own life, then his loved ones have little to fear. He doesn't have to be the strongest guy on the block. He doesn't have to be the smartest man at work. He doesn't have to be the richest man in town. He just has to be willing to sacrifice himself for those he loves and his family and loved ones will know that they are going to be taken care of.


When a man has this strength working in his life, you know that he's going to go to work even when he is sick. You know that he is going to spend time helping finish that project after work, no matter how tired he is. When a man has The Strength of Expendability working in his life, you know he will get up early and go to bed late if he has to, in order to get the job done. In other words, you know he's going to carry his weight and then some. You know that he will fight for what he believes in, stand up against injustice, and lay his life down for a worthy cause. This is the stuff that real heroes are made. It's exactly what our homes and families need. And it's the kind of life that Jesus calls men to.Mark 8:35 says, "For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." When you step back and look at it, it's a little crazy to think that a man would be motivated by statements like "lay your life down", but that is exactly what happens. In fact writing this blog, I am motivated to do more than just tell my daughter that this is a characteristic of a godly man. I want to show her with my life. I leave you with this question aimed at the men reading this blog: Have you allowed self-preservation to extinguish one of your greatest assets, or are you demonstrating The Strength of Expendability by your life?